Chapter 23 – If I wasn’t a fraud or afraid

  • I’d write well every day.
  • I’d finish that bloody novel.
  • I’d finish any writing at all.
  • I’d have the courage to live and pursue my dreams.
  • I’d see failure as a necessary part of success, not a permanent condition.
  • I’d be a better person.
  • I’d be kinder, happier, and more forgiving.
  • I’d be generous with my time and my affection.
  • I wouldn’t be such a fucking coward.
  • I wouldn’t be scared shitless of public speaking.
  • I’d know what to say.
  • I’d have the courage to speak out.
  • I’d have the courage to speak to you. Speak to her. Speak to anyone.
  • I’d lead by example, and be worthy of being followed.
  • I’d be out there on the frontline living my dreams.
  • I’d do the things that I encourage others to do.
  • I’d wipe the slate clean and start again, any number of times. As long as it takes to get it right.
  • There’d be gold in them woods.
  • I’d gladly trade a long life for a life well lived.
  • I’d love unconditionally without holding back for fear of getting hurt
  • I wouldn’t try to ‘get you before you get me.’
  • I’d speak the truth all the time.
  • I’d tell you that your bum DOES ‘look big in this’.
  • I’d be an activist in body and in deed.
  • I’d speak out about the government.
  • I’d be an outspoken human rights activist, and not just a member of Amnesty International.
  • I’d pay all my taxes towards schools, hospitals, and public services.
  • I’d refuse to pay taxes towards nuclear proliferation, raping the earth, or blowing the shit out of third world countries.
  • I’d beat politicians at their own game.
  • I’d beat politicians. Full stop.
  • I’d try harder.
  • I’d ‘man up’ and ‘grow a pair’.
  • I’d “bring the normals to their knees.”
  • I’d be “someone else; someone good.”
  • I’d stop quoting other people and speak my own thoughts in my own language.
  • I’d live or die — but either way just shut up and get on with it.
  • I wouldn’t cry so much or feel so ashamed.
  • I wouldn’t despise myself.
  • I wouldn’t wince when shown any sign of love.
  • I’d undress with the lights on and sleep with the light off.
  • I’d be able to sleep at night and look at myself in the mirror in the morning.
  • Clowns wouldn’t eat me in my sleep.
  • I’d be much less concerned with what you think about me.
  • I’d be easier to live with, and able to live with myself.
  • I’d be happy in my own skin.
  • I wouldn’t take out on you what I’m really taking out on myself.
  • I wouldn’t make rhetorical statements or ask rhetorical questions. Would I?
  • I’d still have more questions than answers; but at least they’d be interesting questions.
  • I’d cook meals for my friends.
  • I’d actually have friends.
  • I’d be proud of my achievements.
  • I wouldn’t seek approval from an indifferent world.
  • I’d tell my boss to shove it and move on to better things.
  • I’d quit my job and move to Japan.
  • I’d give my whole heart to Japan.
  • I’d be unflinching in my honesty and my love.
  • I’d be a more faithful lover and a more loving friend.
  • I’d spend less time dicking around on the internet.
  • I’d stop shouting at people on the internet.
  • I wouldn’t be such a dick. All of the time. On the internet.
  • I’d brush my teeth twice a day.
  • I’d always wear matching socks.
  • I’d have already finished what I haven’t begun.
  • Death wouldn’t be tapping his watch and laughing at me.
  • I’d probably live in Japan.
  • I’d probably make my living as a writer.
  • I’d probably speak publicly on a semi-professional basis.
  • I’d probably teach creative writing.
  • I’d still want the moon on a stick.
  • I’d still have 101 things on my to do list.
  • It wouldn’t matter so much in the end.
  • You wouldn’t be reading this.

Please leave your own list in the comments. And get off of my lawn!