Hi! Welcome to Chapter 23.
Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit.
“A concept is a brick. It can be used to build a courthouse of reason. Or it can be thrown through the window.”
— Gilles Deleuze
Hollywood has always been obsessed with image over talent. It’s called The Dream Factory with good reason.
Sorry, wrong meeting.
This month, there’s mischief, madness, and monkey business.
Plus, you know, a tendency to exaggerate for comic effect.
Please reply to this email if you’re enjoying these newsletters.
I will take your silence as an answer and start to plot my revenge against you.
Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a typewriting monkey
If I wrote about what’s on my mind today, I’d probably get sectioned. So instead, here’s something fun that I made. It’s a ‘do not disturb the typewriting monkey’ sign for your door, to let people know that you’re hard at work on your novel.
You can download the PDF here:
do not disturb the typing monkey
Face it, you need this in your life. It’s a well-known fact that people won’t disturb a typing monkey — at least not if they know what’s good for them.
If the door is open, people know it’s ok to hang with you. But when they see the typing monkey, they know to leave you alone.
Next time you want to get some work done, just pop the monkey on your door. If that doesn’t work, you can always throw shit at people.
Friend Links
Here’s some of my stuff to read on the interweb. They’re all Friend Links so anyone can read them.
This is How I Got Started with Travel Photography — These photos of Japan will make you want to travel
The Best Thing to do with a Good Book — Bibliomancy for fun and profit
Black Mirror — A Dream Narrative
‘Do the Work’ is the Ultimate Lifehack — The productivity secret you don’t seem to get
According to Medium I’m a Top Writer in Humor — Stop laughing!
Life is a Shitty First Draft — You Only Get Rewrites if You’re Buddhist
Friend Links for Medium — All my Medium posts to the end of 2019
One Minute Reads for Writers — 30 posts in 30 days
jamesgarside.net — My website has links to most of my writing
Note: If you have a problem opening any of these links just try to view them in private browsing mode and that will probably do the trick.
Asshole Astrology
What does the universe have in store for you? Sign up to find out.
Asshole Astrology: Week of 17 August 2020 — Horoscopes for Horrible People
Asshole Astrology: August 2020 — Tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 1999
Social media follow backs
I will follow you back on any social media platform that we’re both on.
For me the main ones are Twitter, Twitter, and Twitter.
Just follow me and message me with links to your social media profiles and I’ll do the rest.
If you want to connect with me online I’m very chatty on Twitter where I gained over 15,000 followers by being grumpy and sarcastic.
I’m much nicer in real life, I promise!
I currently write on Medium where I’ve over 4,000 followers despite writing about completely random subjects.
I’m also on LinkedIn where I pretend to be a grown-up and Instagram where when I’m not traveling I take terrible pictures of my food.
Thanks for reading.
As always feel free to #AskMeAnything
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