Chapter 23 — The one where you accidentally joined a cult

Chapter 23 — The one where you accidentally joined a cult

One of us! One of us! One of us!

Hi! Welcome to Chapter 23.

Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit.

“If I hear one more person who brags about their trips with Terence McKenna or Timothy Leary I might become what people refer to as evil.”

— Rachel Haywire, Eris is my Biatch

The road to Hell is paved with aphorisms.

This is the first monthly newsletter so let me know what you think. We’ll work out the kinks as we go along so smoke ’em if you got ‘em.

This month, there’s magick, mischief, and mayhem.*

Also known as shameless self-promotion.

*I may have lied about the mayhem.

What’s your theme for 2022?

Happy New Year!

It’s 2022.

Same shit, different day, if you ask me.

The only thing that changed is the year.

What do you want this year to look like? What do you intend to do once your new years resolutions have fallen by the wayside? What’s your theme for 2022?

This is your homework for this month. I genuinely want you to think about this. Come up with a theme or a saying or mantra that sums up what you want from this year.

Feel free to tell me what it is. Or keep it to yourself. I don’t mind. Just have one.

Mine is “You can’t turn lead into gold but you can turn shit into money.” Or, as we say in Yorkshire, “Where there’s muck there’s brass.” Make of that what you will.

BMO from Adventure Time

This pic of BMO from Adventure Time is EXACTLY how I feel every time I attempt to market myself.

That said, I’m an independent writer and need all the help I can get so: “Reach for the roof and give me all your gold bricks!”

Or, you know, just give me money. Or unwanted gift cards. Or sock zombies. Because who wouldn’t want a zombie made out of socks.

Friend Links

Here are some of the places that I am on the interweb.

Medium I’m a Top Writer on Medium. If you enjoy reading my articles then please become a Medium member. If you sign up to Medium using this link you support me as a writer and get unlimited access to stories on Medium.

Vocal Check out a selection of my best stories and articles on Vocal Media.

NewsBreak I’m a Top Contributor on NewsBreak. I’m not proud of it, I was hungry! This local news aggregator is the most downloaded news app in the US.

Patreon Adopt a writer. Get regular updates on your adopted writer, exclusive benefits and rewards, and behind the scenes access to a writer in their natural habitat. Your support makes a real difference.

jamesgarside.net My professional website and portfolio of stuff and things.


Chapter 23 — The one where you accidentally joined a cult was originally published in graffiti living on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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