I can teach you everything you need to know about Twitter with a story about three witches. It gives you … More

Hi! Welcome to Chapter 23. Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit. … More

Photo by John Hernandez on Unsplash “I remember when this field were nowt but car parks,” I said in my put on northern … More

The Pillow Book, Peter Greenaway A writer friend of mine asked me what I knew about Zuihitsu. I sent her … More

April Fools! I’m an independent writer. You’re basically an official sponsor if you support me in any way. Either that … More

You can have access to PDF copies of my notebooks — that’s the polite term for thousands of pages of … More

Emilie Wapnick’s TED Talk about Multipotentialites | Photo courtesy of Puttylike | NOT sponsored content What did you want to be when you grew … More

Hi! Welcome to Chapter 23. Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit. … More

Photo by Namphuong Van on Unsplash “Allow. Allow whatever is in the moment to be there. It is what it is. Once you … More

Photo by Braydon Anderson on Unsplash Here are some titles of unpublished posts that I actually plan to write someday but never seem … More

Image copyright Goodreads I’m a Goodreads author and I’ve been on Goodreads since 2010 — even longer if you count a … More

I made a playlist about America called Amurika. This was before I heard Rammstein’s ‘Amerika’ which is so good it … More

Hi! Welcome to Chapter 23. Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit. … More

This clip of BMO from Adenture Time is EXACTLY how I feel every time I attempt to market myself. That … More

Snowdon, the highest mountain in North Wales. Photo by v2osk on Unsplash I don’t like to talk about my feelings Someone asked me … More

Dreadlocks hid Jake’s face from dirty looks as he pushed his way to the front of the cinema queue. There … More

I’m just fucking with you. But now that I’ve got your attention… This month I will do a Skype chat … More

Photo by Vero Photoart They’re watching me in black and white. Not the pregnant teen looking for a place to sit, or … More

Hi! Welcome to Chapter 23. Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit. … More

People on Twitter keep asking me for merch with something that I said on it. It took me two years … More

I woke when my head hit the glass. Not the persistent rattle like before — head lolled against the window, full weight … More

Your support makes my work possible. Please sign up for a paid subscription. Chapter 23 has secret monthly posts and other things … More

What do you want this year to look like? What do you intend to do once your new years resolutions … More

Hi! Welcome to Chapter 23. Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit. … More

American friends asked me to write a few words about my experience of the coronavirus crisis. It seems like everyone … More

  Please give a warm welcome to Asshole Astrology subscribers. Asshole Astrology is my faux horocscope column where I pretend to provide … More

Did you vote? You did. Do you vote? You do. Good. That’s what I thought. Unfortunately, not everyone does vote. … More

Here are the Friend Links for my best posts on Medium for 2020. This means that you can read what … More

Send in the clowns I looked for a picture of a clown to go with this post but almost all … More

Hi! Welcome to Chapter 23. Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit. … More

I read ‘The Crossroads of Should and Must’ and it made me roll my eyes so hard that they fell out … More

Photo by Tom Roberts on Unsplash Sexism isn’t sexy or satirical I want to talk about when everyday sexism gets passed off as … More

  “You are the only people alive on the earth today. All the people that created tradition, created countries, and … More

  It’s nanowrimo again — the time of the year when all common sense goes out of the window and … More

First I recognise the door. There is no difference between this door and any of the others set into the … More

Hi! Welcome to Chapter 23. Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit. … More

We’ve all got to start somewhere Japan is where and how I became a travel photographer. I recently shared some … More

I’m probably going to regret this. People say the stupidest shit on Medium about how to do it right, make … More

It’s nanowrimo again — the time of the year when all common sense goes out of the window and you … More

Where is this relationship going? Every love relationship that I’ve ever had has been outlived by the love of the … More

I once tried to convince a vegetarian friend that it was ok to eat fish because “Fish don’t count.” Apparently … More

Hi! Welcome to Chapter 23. Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit. … More